slow down calm down

maybe a little more of this would help

 life, deranged and ghastly in size these days. like a strawberry with way too many hormones mmm and it grows to outrageous proportion, in time too fast to mature but the redness is holy with it's taste so sweet a fetish for the young, so popular to tweet closer than your feet and it certainly smells better than this teen spirit - i taste your scent bopper, fresher than the one that is premature sickly sour and frothing the purple liquid bubbles of grand designs pop i see a lie, it floats before my eyes far.. to the divine

  and it's questionable, of course. it is able to be questioned as any able questioner will attest to. and what an ability it is

   but its popped course trickles down to feet toe engulfed, the little one drowned a long time strength her greatest asset apart from the fact that toes aren't alive nothing to die, so death never came. soul keep it all intact, keep it all real we'll all be fine, if you think about a question
   
    are you able

outrageous

is tightening the zipper so much there is no pulse
if anything is ever understood then take away my body
make the love in glitter and fantasize without restriction
silver tip of this world, candy oil makes you sweat
tasteful and so eaten, red wine showers
sweet and loose, are you ready for this

drip drop trip boom, not going back major
forget that was to move forward in heat
clean my teeth in truth syrup artificially sweetened
make it pop, damn city-scape and my lights are broken
can you see when my blind eyes block the golden moon

deranged water glides around ankles, wooden shelves
rusted of musk and purple hyenas, laugh away janitor
balloon fest. turns dead plastic pop stars drowned in ice
mop and bucket bedazzled, laced your brown cigarette butt
posed corpse coerced in death, take me with you not
shiny house away, appreciation shower, bring me gifts

detrimental, to bring harm and sadness and an unlimited way of stopping all smiles. the only thing that kept it going and the only thing that stopped it from working. when anything could have been possible and the fact that the possibility was lost. at a loss for words, this cliche makes me sick, but appropriate in that it so is - i don't care. there isn't much to care for now, be that an exaggeration but see if i mind. i don't. so tell me again without speaking, tell me again without looks at me. tell me again without even being here. tell me everything with only your smile. don't let me see it, but keep it public and encompassing. if ever there was cause for concern i found it, but so couldn't believe. i wanted. honestly, this turned out to be.

this is the way i wanted it, and you best believe it. second page now, not even. it's a new book, novel, lies for chapters - can i even find truth in the glossary. let's see how this looks without chapters. if i take out every page and we see only a cover. looks good from the outside doesn't it. don't answer. look. calm and relatively happy, yes? okay, not happy but without discrepancy. if ever you knew how much non-discrepancy pained, i'm sure you wouldn't react. trust me, i'm sure and don't believe i'm wrong. it was wrong. even though i knew right, washed and cleaned put back in the sink for someone else to clean. unfair. unfair. not fair that i knew of the wavering light. the fragile link that connected. the type that born, i hadn't seen before. something unique that proved some freaking frail and pathetic. it's no wonder expiry came within a few breaths. a few salty pellets and unnatural liquids of wholesome discontent and ultimate Sade.

what now when we only see halo. what now when all anyone knows is nothing of all that was. how do we decipher where we came to rest. why did we rest and are we resting. resting implies waking, and one would assume from waking that it would be fresh. it being whatever it would be. that's half of the problem though isn't it. what are we resting from and waking to. funny, neither understand. and i can't make out any of this vocabulary, but there's something here. and it's more than i thought.

so, it was goodbye with words
where, who called this forth
when did any of it become
it was when i knew, wasn't it?

funny, because ignorance proved totally not bliss
more than this kiss

loathing is strong
but so is vodka and that helps
so to loathe is to love
but do not mistake this love as i did
mistaken love is a mistake
costly and glossy, it's shiny like brass
the biggest kick up the ass you'll know
i know

finished with everything
not wanting anymore
suffice to say it's complete
nothing more than that
all but nothing
everything is nothing
it seems like anything could be better than this nothing

/

what's this nothing nonsense
i've everything and more than this
more than what i thought was the most
even then, the most can further and beyond
more than anything everyone expected
everything is ready to everyone's
and everyone is going to feel everything i've got to give

in any case, it's about when we were happy
more of how we did feel
and the moments when you didn't notice
but those ones when you did
boy, they were good

and when it was neither
it was more than anyone could have said
or seen or have created
grown on its own like an independent
how annoying

but it's choice that was chosen
ha ha, as if a decision was involved
considered? too many to be laid out
not even bothered, not even

it started in the strangest fashion
i spoke in a different language
my tongue twisted but clear
it knew how to say what i couldn't think
i think that was the problem

i started to think
when i start thinking it's wrong
i like to feed anxiety
mine is always hungry so it's fun
it likes pastry mostly, and relations

i'm going to start a trend
it will be the latest fashion
it will be something popular
it will be the best something
it will be used to depletion

i came to watch birds congregate

came to watch birds congregate
from all corners, covering all walls
not hungry but starving in their own

they can all see it
and I can see them all
perched, captivated and wondering when

it's nice that they understand
it isn't how, it's when
when, not how or why, only when
but why